Advice for a stronger relationship
Inequality in the relationship
Inequality in the relationship
Consider the following: Is there a significant difference in your incomes? Do you have different spending habits? Does one of you take more control when making financial decisions? Do you have different levels of anxiety or concern about money? Are you both equally interested in discussing finances?
In many relationships, there will be financial inequality. Often, one partner comes from a stronger financial background or earns more money than the other.
The difference might also be in your spending habits. It’s not always true that the person with more money spends more. Perhaps the biggest spender has the least financial resources. You might both have extreme views and struggle to agree on what’s most appropriate. Are you a tightwad or a spender? Or somewhere in between?
Do you have different interests?
Differences in interest regarding financial matters can also lead to inequality. This inequality can manifest in the power dynamics within the relationship. For instance, "I earn more, so I also decide how our finances are managed and what we spend money on." Meanwhile, the partner with fewer resources might feel unable to express their spending desires or make decisions about the joint account and may feel inferior during financial discussions.
“Equality is a myth, and for some reason,
everyone accepts the fact that women don’t make as much money as men do.
I don’t understand that. Why do we have to take a backseat?
I truly believe that women should be financially independent from their men.
And let’s face it: Money gives men the power to run the show.
It gives men the power to define value. They define what’s sexy.
And men define what’s feminine. It’s ridiculous.”
Singer and businesswoman Beyoncé in the self-titled documentary "Life is but a Dream"
Dominance in financial matters can also come from the partner who is most concerned about money and therefore demands a lot from the other's financial behavior.
It can be lonely to be the one who constantly has to handle the financial responsibilities and foresee economic consequences, especially if you’re living with a partner who is indifferent, superficial, or unable to deal with financial matters.